is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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