at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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