I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
