Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
