Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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