after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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