If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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