apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
