i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
