I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
two words...techno handjob
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize