READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
