He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Randomize
