people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
