Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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