The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
