Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
