so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
