We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
zippers are such a cool invention
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
