Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
