so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
