Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
