She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
