And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
