oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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