So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
