i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm getting married
To pizza
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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