so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize