I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize