there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
