Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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