remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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