Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
