Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
