it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
