We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize