grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
