I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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