I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
