Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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