the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
