I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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