So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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