I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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