Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
These tits shall not be calmed
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
