She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
