He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
In other news, I just burned my penis
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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