Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
