how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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