you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
