That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
