Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
