I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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