Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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