she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
