remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
