Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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