from now on my penis is your penis
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I want a musical about memes.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
