Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
