At least make sure they are 18
Why
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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