today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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